<h1 style="text-align: center;">On Behalf Of All Men Who Don’t Think Less Of Women For What They Do</h1>
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<p>There are a lot of things women told me they do because a man said they should. That’s fine. Plenty of men do the same; take advice from a woman and apply it in hopes of landing more women. I don’t fault any woman who once heard a pearl of wisdom from a man and ran with it to increase the likelihood of her finding another man. I believe when it comes to advice about the opposite sex, seek it from the opposite sex.</p>
<h2>The "Make Him Wait" Myth</h2>
<p>But there is one piece of advice I wish women would stop entertaining, and it often comes from men. To paraphrase, it goes like this: “If you want a man to take you seriously, you need to make him wait for sex. Give it up too soon, that respect goes out the window.” The problem with this advice is not the advice itself, but rather, the way it’s been blanketed to speak for all men when it doesn’t apply to some of us. I don’t even know if I’m in the majority when I say this, but I swear on a stack of Bibles I have never not dated a woman because she slept with me too soon. If anything, I knew before I even slept with her I wasn’t going to date her, and to her credit, she probably knew the same of me. If you’re curious about modern dating mindsets, see <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/05/18/dating-a-lost-art/" target="_blank">dating: a lost art?</a>. What kills me about this logic is how it’s hampered a woman’s freedom; the freedom to do whatever she wants when she wants. I know plenty of women who would absolutely love to get their freak on with the finest man they see, but they won’t, and the reason is because someone once told them if they do, that fine man is going to fancy them a h*e.</p>
<h2>Making Sexual Choices Without Judgment</h2>
<p>Now this isn’t the reason for all women. Some women don’t subscribe to their carnal thoughts because it doesn’t suit them or they care about things like their sexual health. Some women also don’t want to jeopardize the risk of getting pregnant by a man they barely know with the likelihood he will leave them. To those women, hats off. I respect the decision. Those reasons are legit, but the one about how a man will judge the woman should she decide to give it up on the first date, or in the first week, or anytime before the “appropriate time” (quotes because there’s really no such thing), save it for the guys who let too much rap music influence their logic. For another take on dating norms and pressures, read <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/05/18/why-we-dread-first-dates/" target="_blank">why we dread first dates</a>. As a man, I wish I could say it was for noble reasons men don’t want to sleep with women too quickly, but the truth is, we have no noble reason. Or, let me rephrase that: I have never heard a man give me a noble reason. Most men say they don’t want to be with a woman who gives it up too soon because they couldn’t “trust her”; she’s not the type of woman a man takes home to meet his mother. As if their mother never gave it up too soon.</p>
<h2>Labels, Respect & Moving Forward</h2>
<p>I used to think the same until I started sleeping with women who were mothers and I realized some women, with child or not, want the same thing I want at the same time I want it. One of the biggest reasons why I stopped calling women h*es or made judgments about their character based on their sex life is because I found it to be unfair. Here I was, a man who wanted a woman to be as comfortable with sleeping with me as I was with her, and yet when she did, I treated her like she was less than afterward. Why? It made no sense, like getting mad at someone for telling me to open my present the day before my birthday instead of on my birthday. For a context about modern relationship expectations, see <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/05/18/is-dating-the-worst/" target="_blank">is dating the worst?</a>. The truth is, it’s been years since a man like me has used terms like these to describe a woman.</p>
<h2>Outgrowing Outdated Rules</h2>
<p>The women I’ve been with do what they want when they want. They don’t subscribe to some antiquated advice from a man given a long time ago. They also don’t think I’m disrespectful because I slept with them once and then never again. If we both wanted to do it, no one was ever disrespected, and if one of us wants to do it again but the other does not, we’re disagreeing, not disrespecting. Being a man is accepting a woman not for what she did in the past, but who she is in the present. Unlike some men, I could care less about whether a woman has done with others what she has done with me. I’ve outgrown an elementary way of thinking about women. If more men would let a woman do what she wants without judgment, they may find what she wants to do is the same thing he wants to do.</p>